The Waitress: Good-Pie, Earl

This blog delivers recipes for all 18 pies mentioned in "The Waitress" 2007 screenplay in order of mention with recipes from ameture bakers as well as contributions from the cookbook inspired by the film and stage performance The Waitress Pie Book: Sugar, Butter, Flour with recipes by Sheri Castle.

Today's pies are all about Earl, just like he prefers.
We'll be baking #3 the "I Hate my Husband" pie, a chocolate and caramel combination, and #4 the "Spaghetti Pie" with some suggestions for modifications.

Trigger Warning: This content contains themes concerning domestic violence.

Earl. What comes to mind when you hear the name "Earl"?
Our protagonist, Jenna, married Earl young before she realized what he was like. His possessive nature was seen as endearing during their courtship, but once married, possessiveness became controlling and abusive. 

A short digression.

Back to "Earl." The meaning of the name has to do with English nobility, to be an "Earl" is to be a person of royal stature. But the association I have with the name as a middle aged woman is that of a 1999 song by The Chicks (once The Dixie Chicks) called "Goodbye Earl."

Well, it wasn't two weeks after she got married that

Wanda started gettin' abused

She'd put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses

And makeup to cover a bruise

Well, she finally got the nerve to file for divorce

She let the law take it from there

But Earl walked right through that restraining order

And put her in intensive care

A restraining order is a boundary, and people with boundary issues don't tend to respond the way someone with a well adjusted sense of self would.
There's no one reason for domestic violence, but each perpetrator of domestic violence has this same commonality: boundary issues stemming from codependency. 

But isn't codependency associated with people pleasing, you ask?
Yes. The victim and the perpetrator (or abuser) are often on two sides of the same coin, the coin being codependency:

Victim Codependency

• Empaths
• Narcissistic (I can understand them better than anyone/I can fix them)
• Insecure
• Highly sensitive to criticism
• Lack boundaries
• Seek needy people
  
  Their lives are dictated by the needs of others and feel a sense of self worth only when they are helping or needed by someone else.

Abuser Codependency

• Manipulative
• Narcissistic (I have needs and it's okay for me to hurt others to get them)
• Insecure
• Highly sensitive to criticism
• Lack boundaries
• Seek empaths and people pleasers
  
  Their lives are dictated by their drive for "love" and acceptance and only feel a sense of self worth when they are needed by someone else.  

Though the two sides are similar, there is only one victim. 
Disturbing another person's autonomy, peace, and safety is never an okay boundary to push or break and the people who do these things can only fix themselves.

This dual dynamic has been identified as a codependent/narcissism continuum and the commonalities listed above are connected with "relationship addiction." 

For information on these topics, go to https://www.mhanational.org/co-dependency

If you or someone you know is being abused physically, financially, or otherwise by a romantic partner, visit https://www.thehotline.org/ for resources, tools, and information.

This site is also a good resource for teens who need to know how to spot and navigate domestic violence as they age.

So, who's ready for pie! 
I certainly need to do some baking after that. 

#3 I Hate My Husband Pie

Description

Much like Earl's character, this pie has a dark, bitter center (bittersweet chocolate cream) with a sugary sweet veneer (salted caramel). The "I Hate my Husband" pie is your invitation to bake with hate in your heart. Maybe you want to bake an "I Hate Having MS" pie, or an "I Hate Dysfunctional Relationships" pie...let it out!

Including crust, this bake will take 7 to 10 hours (7 hours with premade crust) 
Preheat at 425 (reduce to 400 to bake)

Ingredients 

Crust:
2 ½ cups (325g) all-purpose flour, spooned and leveled
1 teaspoon kosher salt or 1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt
1 cup (230g) very cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes 6 to 8 tablespoons ice water, or more as needed

Bittersweet Chocolate Cream:
1 cup white sugar
3 egg yolks, beaten
½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
3 tablespoons cornstarch
½ teaspoon salt
3 cups milk
1 tablespoon butter
1 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract
1 (9 inch) pie crust, baked
1 cup whipped cream (add vanilla extract and confectioners sugar to taste)

Salted Caramel Topping:
1 cup granulated, Pure Cane, sugar
6 Tablespoons unsalted butter
1/2 cup and 2 Tablespoons heavy cream (room temperature)
1 teaspoon fine grain salt 

Buttery Pie Crust (inspiredtaste.net)

2 ½ cups (325g) all-purpose flour, spooned and leveled 1 teaspoon kosher salt or 1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt 1 cup (230g) very cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes 6 to 8 tablespoons ice water, or more as needed

When using a food processor, add 1½ cups flour and salt to a food processor. Pulse 2 to 3 times until combined. The remaining cup of flour will be added later.

Scatter butter cubes over flour and process until a dough begins to form, about 15 seconds. (There should be no uncoated butter)

Scrape bowl, redistribute the flour-butter mixture then add remaining 1 cup of flour. Pulse 4 to 5 times until flour is evenly distributed. (Dough should look crumbly)

Transfer to a medium bowl then sprinkle ice water over mixture — start with 4 tablespoons and add from there. Using a rubber spatula or cold hands, press the dough into itself. The crumbs should begin to form larger clusters. If you pinch some of the dough and it holds together, it’s ready. If the dough falls apart, add 2 to 4 more tablespoons of water and continue to press until dough comes together.

Remove dough from bowl and place in a mound on a clean surface. Work the dough just enough to form a ball. Cut the ball in half then form each half into disks. Wrap each disk with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour and up to 2 days. You can also freeze it for up to 3 months (thaw it overnight in the fridge before using it).

If mixing dough by hand, scatter butter cubes and fold with pastry blender or fork for 1 to 2 minutes. Continue the process above. Blind bake by preheating oven to 425. Place crust in pie pan and freeze for 10 minutes. Fill with dry beans, rice, or bake weights and place in the oven. Turn over down to 400, and bake for 25 minutes (watch for golden brown appearance) This will fully bake the crust. Cool crust completely before filling.

Bittersweet Chocolate Cream (https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/15756/chocolate-cream-pie-ii/)

1 cup white sugar
3 egg yolks, beaten
½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
3 tablespoons cornstarch
½ teaspoon salt
3 cups milk
1 tablespoon butter
1 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract
1 (9 inch) pie crust, baked

1 cup whipped cream (add vanilla extract and confectioners sugar to taste)

Beat sugar and egg yolks together in a large bowl until creamy.

Mix in cocoa powder, cornstarch, and salt until well blended.

Stir in milk, and pour mixture into a large saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until boiling and thickened enough to coat the back of a metal spoon.

Remove from heat; stir in butter and vanilla extract. Set aside to cool slightly.

Pour mixture into prepared pastry shell; chill pie in the refrigerator until set, 2 to 4 hours.

Salted Caramel Topping (https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/homemade-salted-caramel-recipe/) Use caution when cooking candies. If needed, kitchen gloves are useful.
Unlike most caramel recipes, this salted caramel doesn’t require a candy thermometer.

Heat granulated sugar in a medium stainless steel saucepan (do not use nonstick) over medium heat stirring constantly with a high heat-resistant spatula or wooden spoon. Sugar will form clumps and eventually melt into a thick brown, amber-colored liquid as you continue to stir.

This takes about 6 minutes. Be careful not to burn it.

Once sugar is completely melted, immediately stir in the butter until melted and combined. Be careful in this step because the caramel will bubble rapidly when the butter is added. If you notice the butter separating or if the sugar clumps up, remove from heat and vigorously whisk to combine it again. Keep whisking until it comes back together, even if it takes 3–4 minutes. It will eventually—just keep whisking. Return to heat when it’s combined again. After the butter has melted and combined with the caramelized sugar, stir constantly as you very slowly pour in the heavy cream. Since the heavy cream is colder than the hot caramel, the mixture will rapidly bubble when added.

After all the heavy cream has been added, stop stirring and allow to boil for 1 minute. It will rise in the pan as it boils. If you’d like to be precise and use a candy thermometer, the temperature will rise to about 220°F

Remove from heat and stir in the salt. The caramel will be a thin liquid at this point. Allow to slightly cool down before using. Caramel thickens as it cools.

At room temperature, pour over the cooled bittersweet chocolate cream filling and serve.
Add whipped cream and toasted nuts or coconut shavings to taste or to depict Earl's state of mind.

Thank you to Inspired Taste, All Recipies, and Sally's Baking Addiction for making this fictitious recipe a reality!

#4 Spaghetti Pie

Description
In keeping with dubious dynamics, I have something better than a supposed "Spaghetti Pie" for you that will fulfill the #4 slot beautifully and you'll actually want to serve this to people you love and like.

I give you "Ziti Al Forno" from The Soprano's Cookbook.

If you are not familiar with The Sopranos, it is the quintessential long-form mafia drama that became a household name in the 1990's. Even my stepfather drove a maroon Suburban just like Tony Soprano. You can stream it on Max while you eat baked ziti. 

RIP James Gandolfini

    

Ingredients 

3⁄4 lb ziti pasta, cooked

2 cups pasta sauce (Sunday Gravy)

    10 roma tomatoes, ripe, cubed

    2 cups bone broth (unsalted) or red wine

    1/4 cup tomato paste (boxed, not canned, if possible)

    1 large red bell pepper, diced

    1 medium white onion, diced

    3 cloves garlic, diced

    Olive oil
    Kalamata olive brine

    Black pepper

    2 bay leaves

    Salt

    Fresh oregano

8 medium meatballs (Sunday Gravy - Real Italian Spaghetti Sauce, and Meatballs)

    2 to 1 ratio of lean ground beef and ground Italian sausage

    Breadcrumbs
    Worcestershire sauce
    2 eggs
    1 white onion, small, diced

3⁄4 cup freshly grated romano cheese or 3/4 cup parmigiano-reggiano cheese

3⁄4 cup ricotta cheese

6 ounces wet, buffalo mozzarella cheese, cubed

3⁄4 to taste grated parmesan cheese, grated
Fresh basil 

Italian Tomato Gravy (Pasta Sauce)

10 roma tomatoes, ripe, cubed
 2 cups bone broth (unsalted) or red wine

1/4 cup tomato paste (boxed, not canned, if possible)

1 large red bell pepper, diced

1 medium white onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, diced

Olive oil
Kalamata olive brine

Black pepper

2 bay leaves

Salt

Fresh oregano

Add olive oil (about 2 Tablespoons) and a pinch of salt to a large saucepan on low heat (avoid cast iron).

Add a medium white onion, diced.
Stir until the onion is translucent, then add bell pepper and garlic.

Stir until the contents is slightly browned (5 minutes).

Add bone broth, bay leaves, pepper, oregano, and tomatoes.
Cover and let simmer for 15 minutes.

Check the liquid content, and stir.
The sauce should be mostly liquid at this point.
Add water and a little olive oil if it needs more liquid.

Add the tomato paste and olive brine.
Stir to incorporate all ingredients and cover on low for 30 minutes checking every 10 minutes to ensure that it's not burning or running too low on liquid.

Taste. Add salt or other ingredients as needed and let cook for another 5 minutes.

If you want a smooth gravy, you can use an immersion blender.

Turn off heat and set aside.

Meatballs

2 to 1 ratio of lean ground beef and ground Italian sausage

Breadcrumbs
Worcestershire sauce
2 eggs
1 white onion, small, diced

You can make these in a pan or in the oven, I suggest the oven.
Use a glass baking dish, ungreased.
Preheat to 375 - bake for 20 minutes

In a pan, add olive oil at medium heat.
Include the onion.
Stir until the onions caramelize, and remove from heat.

In a medium bowl, mix one lb of lean ground beef with half of a roll of ground Italian sausage.
Add caramelized onions, eggs, a Tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce, and breadcrumbs an 8th of a cup at a time (add more until you can make a ball that sticks together easily).

Make 2 inch diameter meatballs and place in the baking dish, and place in the preheated oven.
You do not need to move the meatballs during the baking process, watch them for browning and remove within 20 minutes.

They will be par cooked, do not eat them yet. 

Pasta

Using a large pot, bring water with 3 Tablespoons of salt to full boil.

If you have fresh (not dried) pasta, cook for 3 minutes, then drain.
If you are using dried pasta, cook for 7 minutes, then drain.

The pasta will cook further in the oven, but not much. 

Ziti Al Forno

Let's put it all together!

Using a large, ungreased baking dish, place a small amount of gravy on the bottom, just enough to coat the dish.

In a bowl, mix pasta with the ricotta. 

Place the pasta on top of the thin layer of sauce, followed by strategically placed meatballs.
Cover with the rest of the gravy so that it sits even with the top of the pasta.

Place cubed mozzarella throughout the dish and sprinkle parmesan on top generously and add cracked black pepper.

Bake uncovered for 45 minutes at 375. 
Check it every 20 minutes or so to make sure it's not overcooking.

Let rest for 15 minutes.
Add more parmesan and fresh basil and serve.

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Thank you for reading and cooking, and please let me know what you think in the comments.

Next time, we're baking #5 Marshmallow Mermaid Pie (a favorite!), and #6 Falling In Love Chocolate Mousse Pie. Definitely some lighter content, and I look forward to musing about food as love potion.